Tuesday, 6 September 2011

You know you're a true SE Asia backpacker when :

I found this on facebook and find it very funny. Worth to read!

You know you’re a true SE Asia Backpacker when:

• You’ve used your insect repellent not only to keep insects away but also as deodorant, to moisturise your legs, make your clothes/pack smell better.

• Used wet wipes (sparingly) in lieu of a shower.

• Referred to deodorant as “shower in a can”.

• Washed your clothes in the shower with shampoo.

• Eaten bugs, testicals, intestines, eyeballs, chicken feet, spiders, seahorses, maggots and many other disgusting things off a street vender…because it was cheap, you were drunk and your mate dared you to.

• Panicked about your ‘lost’ passport, camera, wallet, bus ticket only to realise it’s in your pocket or your hand.

• Fought with your travel-buddy over the window seat on a 12 hour bus ride.

• Been touched inappropriately and slightly creeped out by a little local old lady who just wants to touch your white white skin and remind you your tans not as good as hers. 

• Been stared at in horror by a little kid because they’ve never seen such a tall white monster before.

• Had to pose in some ones family photo because you’re so white, tall and have blue eyes.

• Used a squat toilet with as much skill as any local.

• Worn clothes that smell so bad it’s almost crawling away….if only because it smells better then everything else in your pack.

• Laughed at “5 starers” when they realise they have to get on the same bus/train/boat/taxi/tuk-tuk/car as you….and you know you smell like death.

• Pitied “5 Star-ers” because with all their tours, transfers, guides they never really get to see the true culture.

• Snarled at “5 star-ers” for their unwillingness to talk/joke/be friendly to local people.

• Had intense feelings of Jealously towards “5 Star-ers” when you see them enjoying their beach-side pools and villa’s, their personal bag carriers, gourmet meals, wads of cash and their clean clothes, hair and skin…*sigh*

• Spent at least an hour trying to catch that 1 rogue mosquito that’s caught in your mosquito net

• Heard someone having sex in the bed next to you while sleeping in a 10 person dorm.

• Heard the words “the buckets are lethal” but you try them anyway….and yes, they are lethal…and freaking awesome.

• Felt intense feelings of hate towards your pack….but deep down you know you’d be devastated if you lost it…its your life.

• Been so poor that you can’t afford to eat…because you need what little money you have to buy alcohol.

• While trying to communicate with a local, you’ve both dissolved into laughter because you know your not getting anywhere…and never will. Laughter and smiles are universal 

• Arrived at a bus station, dock or train station 5 minutes before the time on the ticket says…only to wait another 3 hours for it to turn up and apparently it’s on time. 

• Slept on your clothes because the sheets don’t quite look clean enough.

• Become so religious about wearing thongs/sandels in the shower that when you get home it almost feels dirty not to.

• Stolen napkins from restaurants to use as toilet paper.

• Become sick on a 12 hour bus ride and had to vomit into the little plastic bag they give you for your shoes.

• Had the best food of your life in places that look like the birth place of salmonella.

• Had a little celebratory dance and ran around telling everyone you meet when you find out your shower is NOT directly above your toilet.

• Have gotten more drunk then you’ve ever been in your life with a couple of locals and realised that really, they are your best friends in the whole world.

• Spent hours and hours lost and then realised that your hostel was just around the corner.
- Had at least 12 near death experiences (with at least 5 of them from crossing the road)

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